I found a canvas lying around my apartment that hadn’t been used yet, and decided to sit down and do some therapeutic painting with it. I’ve been going through a kind of difficult time for the past month or so since my boyfriend decided that he needed to take some time to be by himself and work on some personal things that have been building up inside of him for quite some time. I understand where he is coming from and why time like that is really important, though it still doesn’t make it any easier when you’re the person who wants to help but knows that the best way to do that is to do nothing for now.
So to keep busy, I’ve been throwing myself into a bunch of projects, one of which is the manga I posted about before. But sometimes there’s nothing better than just throwing paint at a canvas to calm down or go to another place. Obviously since he is on my mind, I painted my lovely man. I think it’s interesting that as my mood fluctuated between being at peace with his need to do some soul searching and being just absolutely distraught with missing him and sadness, my ability to mix colours changed as well. The lower lefthand corner especially was even darker than it is now when I was in that sad phase. But chatting online with a friend and listening to some Billy Joel saw a turn, and those bright blues and oranges made it in. I feel like there’s a lot we could learn about mood and thought from things like this, but what do I know? I’m just a melancholy artist in a big city.